Gear that works outside.Best of
Nerdsquatch
How Long Will It Last?

With Izzy.

Izzy is the Nerdsquatch brand ambassador. She is a Belgian Malinois, and the timed chew tests will be hers. Ozzy fetches. Taz, about 7 lb, starts the noise and then leaves. First logged entry: Mr. Banana, test IZ-000. She gutted the plush mascot in about an hour.

Destroyer Index
Mr. Banana before the test: a yellow and white plush banana mascot with a stitched grin and purple eyes.
IZ-000 · Mr. Banana, before

Supervised play. We stop a test the moment a dog swallows pieces. A filmed test uses a clock we start and stop. IZ-000 was written down after Izzy finished: about an hour. It is a logged chew, separate from any lab number.

The cast

Three dogs. One destroyer.

Izzy, a tan and black Belgian Malinois, lying on her back on a brown leather armchair and wearing a pink collar.
Armchair
Izzy, a Belgian Malinois on a gray dog bed, chewing a cardboard tube beside a light blue rubber ball.
Chew
Izzy, a Belgian Malinois, with wicker fibers stuck to her muzzle after chewing a dark wicker chair.
Wicker
House dog

Izzy

Belgian Malinois. Born 2021-12-24. 4 years, 10 months. About 45 lb. Big-dog lane.

Role
Chief Destruction Officer
Chew style
power shredder
Ozzy, a wet German Shepherd, walking the deck beside a blue pool.
Pool
Ozzy, a German Shepherd, lying on the concrete pool deck with his tongue out.
Deck
House dog

Ozzy · Doofy

German Shepherd. Born 2020-11-10. 5 years, 11 months. About 50 lb. Big-dog lane.

Role
Retrieval Department (fetches, then lets Izzy carry it)
Chew style
lean by genetics
Taz, a small long-haired brown and black mixed-breed dog, resting his chin on a red plaid cushion.
Close-up
Taz as Shop Dog, a small mixed-breed dog sitting in an olive camp chair in the workshop.
Shop Dog
Taz, a small mixed-breed dog, sitting in a torn beige couch with white stuffing pulled out around him.
Couch
Taz, a small mixed-breed dog, peeking out from under a black hoodie on a gray blanket.
Hoodie
House dog

Taz · Shop Dog

Shop Dog when he hangs out in the workshop.

Small mixed-breed (mutt). Born 2016-02-15. 10 years, 8 months. About 7 lb. Small-dog lane.

Role
The Instigator
Chew style
Runs around barking, marks over the big dogs’ spots, then bolts

Prior record: once tore up a couch.

Test pack

Guest dogs

The test pack can take guest dogs on the same card: breed, birthday, weight, role, chew style. None are listed yet.